Moments
by Yami Hime Hikari
Summary: She had many moments of maturity, though few noticed and fewer commented on the change. She had far more of these moments than anyone knew or was willing to guess. After all, she was "Odango-Atama" for a reason, wasn't she? No one noticed her growing up.


**AN:**This is unbetaed and my first fic focused on her and _just _her, during the time of the canonical storyline. Hope you enjoy and I'm looking for a beta for my Sailor Moon fics.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sailor Moon.

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**Moments**

She had her moments, though they were more often than anyone else realized.

She could still be a child, still be what the world expected to see, what when she thought no one was looking or that it was necessary, her entire bearing changed and her true self shone through. This was who Sailor Moon had become once she understood the stakes, the face whom Princess Serenity had shone the world through necessity, and who Tsukino Usagi truly was. Everyone saw Princess Serenity in these moments, no one understanding that the existence of Serenity had merely allowed Usagi to unlock the same attributes within herself.

The moments of maturity were rare in the beginning, usually occurring during a battle where the stakes were revealed to be higher than originally assumed, but soon they began to appear more often, though still sporadicly and seemingly limited her time spent as Sailor Moon. Then, once every other blue moon, an interaction with Usagi revealed a sensible comment, usually when one of her Senshi or Mamoru was involved. Still, it was seen as Serenity's influence and minor success at Luna's attempts to make the whiny teenager into a wise queen.

It was when this side was shown to people beyond the Inner Senshi that they realized there was a possibility these actions were Usagi's and not Serenity's. After all, what interest could a dead princess have in unknown teenage students or a family not her own? The overheard comments here and there from teachers and Usagi's childhood friends and classmates were what gave them that seed of an idea. But then they would glance at their leader to see her laughing, goofing off at the arcade, trying to avoid homework, or otherwise revealing her childish nature. Coincidence, they would say, nothing more than chance. Everyone has days where they appear insightful. This was hers. She's the same as she's always been.

And so the cycle went. Tsukino Usagi was a childish girl who had a boyfriend but took nothing seriously and so much for granted, whom, it appeared to the Inners, would always be a child, no matter her age. Sailor Moon was the leader of the Senshi, willing and able to make unthinkable self-sacrifices to save her team, a woman who grew and learned and would one day become the Neo-Queen. Princess Serenity was a woman long dead, but whom the Senshi still gladly followed, who was the epitome of grace and potential for queenly rule, whose heart was large and gentle and would one day wear a true crown. Those who knew all three did not seem capable of seeing the similarities and how the separations that they named did not truly exist. Even as she grew in knowledge and understanding and flowered in beauty, the side she showed the world was still a child, though she more and more often shed the childish impatience and habits of speaking defensively immediately and reacting before thinking. The mask of youthful behavior began to slip, allowing her breathing space in a world that was getting more and more constricting in its expectations of her. Maturity broke through here and there, though perhaps only for a few minutes. No one seemed to notice how Tsukino Usagi slowly became quieter and calmer outside of study groups, how she listened and thought before speaking when in any sort of group. None who should have known, who had the most pieces of the puzzle, realized what was happening.

The process was slow and mostly unnoticed, but Tsukino Usagi was growing up.

Sometimes the mask of adolescent conduct was not a mask and she truly was a child—just barely, but still a child in word and deed. Interactions with Rei and Minako in front of the group usually did not involve masks, for it was a relief to react so mindlessly, but once in a while she would slip and her comeback would be a tad late or her reaction not quite as exuberant as the other blonde's and the good-natured jibes about her intelligence would begin and it would be necessary to pretend to be insulted and leak crocodile tears and harm eardrums, no matter how little the words truly affected her. Usagi had to be a child, had to react the way the world expected, had to hide who and what she was becoming. The gradual growing was lost on everyone, for they expected growing up to include caring about grades and a large improvement there, looking at colleges or perhaps a job, a drastic and immediate drop in complaints and whines, and other things that she simply wasn't doing. After all, how could she stop complaining or whining without being asked—several times, by everyone nearby—if she was sick or feeling alright? It just wasn't worth it. So a mask appeared revolving around that. The whining vanished unless she felt the slightest negative emotion about whatever was being kept from her or it was obviously expected for her to whine, such as when Rei bought more manga and Minako spotted it. The amount of whining still decreased. She did a similar thing with complaining: token complaints when necessary and real complaints when she actually cared about whatever it was. Again, the numbers fell.

Why should her grades improve when she was out fighting nearly every night, never had enough sleep between that and the nightmares of what could have been or had been, when she could not understand why a last minute rise in grades would help with college when all that mattered was staying alive and protecting Earth and her friends? There was a slight improvement when pressure was applied and she had the time to sit down and learn and remember. But no one asked and no one noticed.

Then came Galaxia.

Her masks all vanished when she learned all her Senshi were gone. They teetered and cracked and bent more and more for each fall. That she kept the fights far from bystanders should have been a flag about her growth for the Mau, but they were still reeling from their losses. Meeting Kakyuu allowed her to complete the transformation and work out a plan, gathering information before she did anything else. Ami and the Outers would have been proud if they'd known.

Tsukino Usagi had grown up. To the last, she protected her family and all she could, going to Galaxia, making sure that the battle would have no innocent bystanders who could be harmed, tying up all the loose ends she could. Luna, Artemis, and Diana were advisers and trainers, not fighters, and without even their ability to speak and transform, had become liabilities even more than they were bystanders. So she convinced her mother to care for them while she was gone. Her mother cried as she left for the last time, the knowledge that her daughter had grown up and was no longer a child hitting her like one of Jupiter's thunderbolts, hearing the certainty that this was the last time they would see each other in her daughter's voice, though the words were still slightly odd. She left for school with the same smile on her face she'd worn for years, though at a more sedate pace, being up so early. No one was there to notice how the smile and happiness vanished the second her face turned from her watching family or how she intentionally went to the park immediately and transformed, knowing the only ones around already knew her identity and it didn't really matter if there were hidden watchers who learned it. She already knew this battle was for the ultimate stakes, that any masks of any sort would slow her down and blind her to the realities of the situation.

When it was all over, it was expected that she be changed, that she be more serious and down-to-earth. After all, she had just fought Chaos itself and lost everything in the process, though she got her friends and lover back. The Neo-Queen-to-be and Neo-King-to-be were getting married and they were all preparing for the birth of Crystal Tokyo and Chibi-Usa. The expectations had flipped. No more was she expected to show any sort of childish behavior, though with Minako and Rei in front of the group there had to be some, so long as it wasn't their princess who initiated it. She was only allowed short moments of childhood and everyone realized and scolded.

Her childhood ended far earlier than everyone assumed. They all assumed it ended when Galaxia showed up and she lost first Mamoru and then all her friends, having to fight alone against someone far more powerful than any earlier enemy and who was without morals. But she had been wearing just the mask of a child long before that point. Tsukino Usagi had not been a child in a very long time.

Her childhood ended after her first battle, when the implications of the youma impersonating her best friend's mother hit her. No one, not even her own daughter, had noticed when the youma took on her persona of Osaka Naru's mother. No one knew how long the impersonation had been going on, though they knew it hadn't been so long that the true Osaka woman had died. If a few more days had passed before Naru had accidentally discovered what was going on, on the other hand… She didn't want to think about that. This wasn't a game, she wasn't acting out a script, the enemy wouldn't stop and wait if she got hurt. This was real, she had no idea when the next attack would be, though she knew she would be involved, and if she was harmed, the enemy was simply going to attack harder and faster in the hopes of killing her and Luna wouldn't be able to stop them. The winning of this first battle was almost definitely because the youma had not yet encountered any resistance in its plans, was weak itself, and because the fledgling Sailor Moon had an unhealthy amount of good luck on her side.

The first battle and the aftermath stripped her of a great deal of innocence. The rest slaughtered what remained and forced rapid growth, emotionally and mentally.

Tsukino Usagi had many moments of maturity when she should have been a child, though most still saw the child, forcing the adult to stay hidden within the carefree youth. Her family did not notice more than a handful of these what with Usagi always out with the other Senshi, but they were hardly able to witness the maturity of Princess Serenity and Sailor Moon and claim that as their daughter's when they knew of no such connection. The Inner Senshi and the Mau did not notice many, seeing what they wanted to see, needing Usagi to be a child outside of battle, needing her to be their Odango-Atama. The Outer Senshi had not known Tsukino Usagi as a child and their first meetings were what the Inners saw as rare moments of maturity in their leader. The Outers were willing to view Usagi as more of an adult, though one still mostly prone to immaturity. They still ignored the moments of maturity, unless they were extreme, expecting the maturity, though always amused by her childish antics. Mamoru saw the most flashes of adult behavior, but he always viewed anything his love did or said through rose-colored glasses.

Tsukino Usagi had had her moments, though they were far more numerous than anyone else knew.

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**AN: **My manga is several hundred miles away so I have nothing to check my facts against. Please tell me if I made a mistake somewhere. I will appreciate all comments regarding the quality of this piece and how to improve it, along with anything but flames. **Repeat:** I am looking for a beta and if anyone out there wants to volunteer, please leave me a signed review or send me a PM.


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